


Lilacs

by Simp_Supreme



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Crying, F in chat for Tsukki, Hanahaki Disease, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Pls I almost cried writing this kdjfksjf, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:47:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27979824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simp_Supreme/pseuds/Simp_Supreme
Summary: Maybe it was his mistake for never being upfront about his feelings, but would it really have mattered anyway? For someone who's such a smart ass all the time, Tsukishima Kei is really fucking stupid.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	Lilacs

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't meant to be a whole fanfic or anything lmao, it's just something super short I wrote a week or two ago and decided to post. I'm also considering writing an aftermath to this, so if I do end up doing it and the feedback is good I'll post it. <3

He should’ve known that he doesn’t feel the same.

Well, really he should’ve known the moment the first petals fell from his lips.

But really, when has Tsukishima Kei ever been anything but in denial about his feelings for Yamaguchi Tadashi?

He knows exactly when it happened—when Yamaguchi fell for someone else—and really, he’s always had _some_ sort of feelings for the brunette. He just never thought he’d be at this point so quickly.

He watched the two of them. Yams and that fucking _tangerine_. When did they even get so close? When did Yamaguchi decide that his heart belonged to Hinata Shoyou? He’s short, he’s loud, he’s happy _constantly_ , he always has energy for absolutely no reason aside from the fuel of his stupid _fucking_ _pride_. It made Tsukishima angry. IRRATIONALLY angry.

Why does he have to be everything that Tsukishima isn’t? Why does Yamaguchi have to love everything that isn’t him.

He sits in his room on his bed by the window, moonlight pouring in through the blinds and his knees drawn up to his chest. Some cheesy love song that he’s never really cared to listen to before now is blaring through his headphones, probably damaging his hearing, but who really cares? Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that he’d never be able to hear Yams’ soft melodic voice or listen to his adorably bubbly laugh again, he’d probably have deafened himself by now. ‘ _Just one less sense to deal with I guess._ ’

He begins to hack suddenly, deep rumbling coughs ripping from his chest with each desperate inhale. His lungs burn from the stinging pain that the thorns born from the flower stems have scratched into his flesh as his 4th pile of flowers that night comes blasting from his mouth. The blood-stained lilac petals splatter across his lap and the bedsheets beneath, settling around him in an almost poetic-looking way. Tsukishima trembles as he slowly tries to regain his breath once again.

It’s gotten harder to breathe each day. Harder to keep himself going. His lungs sting more and more with every inhale, and he can feel his chest growing tighter and tighter with each passing day. He hasn’t told anyone—that he's slowly dying. He knows his feelings are killing him. He knows he should get the surgery he needs, even if he has to forget about the boy unknowingly causing his death. But Tsukishima Kei is a weak man. He’s weak for Yamaguchi Tadashi. And besides, it’s really his own fault for letting his guard down, isn’t it? For letting himself fall in love with his best friend.

~~

It isn’t fair. It’s isn’t _fair_.

It isn’t fair that his mind made him think he still had a chance. That because he wasn’t dead yet, maybe he could still win Yamaguchi back. That maybe, just _maybe_ , he would realize that he loved him in the end. But this isn’t some fairytale, is it? He’s not the desperate, lovesick main character that professes his love to the love of his life, and wins him back at the very last moment. This isn’t his story. He doesn’t win.

How stupid of him, right? For believing in something so foolish. He can feel his heart cracking further and further with every passing second as he watches Hinata hand Yamaguchi a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a soft red hue present in his cheeks.

_It hurts. It hurts so badly. Why does it hurt so badly? Please...please stop._

Tsukishima just stands there...unable to inhale...unable to exhale...unable to move...unable to breathe at all. It feels as if his lungs are made of concrete. Like they’re suffocating his heart. _Crushing_ it. _Shattering_ it. He can’t watch anymore, but he can’t make himself look away. Tears pour from his eyes one after another, blurring his vision. But he can still see them. He can _still see them standing there_. He can still see it when Yamaguchi pulls Hinata in.

He can still see it when their lips touch softly, and when they wrap their arms around each other so lovingly and tenderly that it made Tsukishima feel _sick_.

He doesn’t know when he started screaming. He doesn’t know _why_. All he knows is that he can’t stand the pain anymore. He dropped to his knees at some point, harsh coughs shaking his body as petals come spewing out of him. He gasps for air as they finally finish falling, but no air enters his lungs. His tears pour onto the sidewalk as he holds himself up weakly with his hands. He keeps trying to breathe but he can’t. He _can’t_.

He collapses to the ground, falling onto his side as he clings onto the last strands of his life that he still has in that moment. He can feel his mind blurring. He’s growing weaker and weaker by the second. He thinks he can hear screaming and crying, but he isn’t sure. It feels like his head’s been lifted, but he doesn’t know by who. He can’t tell what’s going on anymore, but he’s tired. _So_ tired. As Tsukishima’s vision finally begins to fade, he catches one last glimpse of the bouquet in Hinata’s hand. The corner of his lips barely upturns for a moment as he drifts away, resting at last.

‘ _Lilacs._ ’

_'Ironic, isn’t it?_ ’


End file.
